of red fans and white tears
by FirestormAngelBlaze
Summary: because blood is not what makes them family. -Uchiha Mikoto, Sasuke, Itachi, Fugaku. AU.


_**of red fans and white tears**_

by NiNA_eN

_

* * *

_

Because blood is not what makes them family.

* * *

It is six years later and her appearance hasn't changed a bit.

She is still beautiful and youthful, retaining her ivory complexion and large onyx-coloured eyes. Many times, she has been compared to a little Japanese doll - a metaphor she dislikes.

If she closes her eyes she can remember blood spilt like milk, callous eyes and a raw scream.

But she tries her hardest not to, even though she knows full well what has happened since then.

Itachi becoming a wanted man and joining an underground criminal organisation, Sasuke betraying his village and following the footsteps of a murderer - she cares not about the storyline.

It is their eyes; dark and hollow, so completely empty that the space where her heart lays _aches._

Mikoto remembers a sweet, childish laugh and she weeps tears of blood and remembrance.

* * *

Mikoto lays; strewn across cold wooden floorboards, dark artificial blood pooling copiously around her still figure. Her eyes stare glassily at a high-roofed ceiling, unhindered by the blinding spotlights that cast muted red and blue shadows.

A body has been thrown across her legs and she does her best to ignore this as the fiercest pins-and-needles race up her frozen limbs.

Her breathing is very controlled, barely existent in the tense silence that follows.

Finally, pounding feet, uneven gasps.

And a piercing, horrified scream.

"And...CUT-!"

Mikoto closes her eyes, wills away the spots that dance in front of her vision and opens them to the offered hand of her murderer.

"Need help?" he asks.

"Uchiha" Mikoto smilers and takes the offered hand of her teenaged co-actor, Itachi.

"Thank you."

She walks off in search of her other "son" and sure enough finds him alone in his changing room.

He is still caught up in his act and everyone else knows enough to steer clear of the young boy during that time.

They know it is only her who can coax him out of such a state.

"Sasuke," she speaks softly, with a tone of unconscious maternity.

He does not move, does nothing in acknowledgment of her.

But she knows, knows enough that in the hunch of his back and silent shaking of his shoulders there lies an unspoken invitation for her to say her piece.

But she does not speak.

Instead, she takes one step, two steps, _three_ - and _hugs_ him.

He no longer stiffens in her arms as he once did and she feels another surge of tenderness as a new wave of trauma quickly soaks up her top.

Sasuke is not her son and Mikoto is not his mother.

She know he would go as far as to say he doesn't have one, alternating between not anymore or he never did in the first place.

Mikoto thinks his real life is just as tragic as his role: an underappreciated child, damaged irrevocably by a series of deaths in his family, eventually ending with him comatised from the stress of it all.

His sickly pallour and sharp cimmerian eyes have made him the perfect actor for Uchiha Sasuke, later-to-be angsty teen.

But Mikoto thinks it simply highlights the haunted look on his young face.

* * *

It takes god-knows how many retakes to film the first few scenes of the "Uchiha arc" as it's been dubbed.

Itachi's eyes are already too cold and calculating - and Sasuke, for the life of him, simply cannot act the part of a cute, naive child.

Mikoto thinks it is understandable, coming from where he does - but this is an important series, decades in the making, and the director is despairing.

From the corner of her eye, she catches Fugaku's frown and knows his eyes are darting frantically between her and the boys.

She takes the hint and nods in confirmation.

Fugaku is a young man, with sharp stress marks creasing his eyes from the weight of a whole clan on his shoulders. Forced into a loveless marriage, she knows he still tries his best and that his temporary contract here is his only release.

She also knows how badly he wants children yet at the same time is absolutely petrified by the very thought - once confiding in her his fears of an absymal fatherhood.

She knows that he would hate to turn out just like his role, "Uchiha Fugaku," a man sucked dry by his responsibilities which then reflected upon his filial relationships.

Her smile is a comfort to him and she tries not to think about the fact that it is probably a feature sorely lacking in his _real_ wife.

She ignores the wistfulness in his gaze as she kneels beside their fake son and says cheerfully, encouragingly, "Sasuke is Sasuke and Itachi is Itachi."

Sasuke has no real brother - and she knows that is why he is unconciously emulating his role, trying to catch up to his "older brother" again. This time, in acting terms.

But this is real life and Sasuke has little innocence left, so his competitive streak is a fierce, obsessive thing - a monster that is only perfect for the role _years_ after this.

* * *

Mikoto is a kind, upbeat person - only because she was able to escape the demons of her past: a traditional and oppressive family that demanded an arranged marriage.

Mikoto comes from a brood of many, she is single with no children _and_ she has an acting career firmly under her thumb - which _so_ pisses her parents off - so she thinks she is very happy this way.

But then she took on this role - she _never_ thought she'd be suited for it but they told her that her personality was a _must-have._

So she's stuck with a husband and two boys - she never was a family person but they absolutely _insisted_ - and it's like she's at square one again, back when her father snatched the doll out of her hands and said she couldn't _play _with it.

Mikoto had spent many years with a hand outstretched, just_ barely_ touching the glass and large eyes staring _eerily blank_ back at her.

Mikoto knows its a family doomed to fall and that its absolutely _silly_ to be so caught up in a family that _doesn't even exist_, but she can't help but wish.

_Wish that they and their roles weren't so the same._

When Itachi asks her why her eyes are so red, she says nothing but clutches tightly to his sleeve.

She wonders why she feels like she's watching her siblings' backs again, as they one by one drifted away from her and their playpen - the teddy bear Second Sister bought Sixth Brother, Eighth Sister's doll carriage that Fourth Brother accidently broke and the plastic teapot Twelfth Sister threw at his head for doing so - instead engaging in her family's _poisonous_ power games; attending formal events daily, getting married early in life and _destroying_ other families and their businesses.

Mikoto is falling and she is falling _fast_.

* * *

When the director grouses for the _umpteenth_ time that his acting is _still_ not exactly right, she can tell by the gleam in Itachi's eyes that he's just about ready to _kill_ the man - and placates them both with a smile and a suggestion to take a break _now. _

No one can resist such a charm.

Itachi _not-quite_ smiles at her and she understands.

Itachi is a child prodigy, who everyone expects too much of and has never been allowed to act his age. Like Fugaku; he has deep creases around his dark eyes, that age his appearance by _years_, and this role is a release that his family does not approve of.

Mikoto answers with a sharp flick to his forehead and sing-songs in a maternal tone she hasn't quite realized she's adopted, "_Re-lax-su."_

Itachi, the child prodigy, is bent over, both hands over his stinging forehead and he _not-quite_ whines, "_Itaiiiiiiiii..."_

His eyes _not-quite_ water in pain - and she laughs and laughs.

Itachi, child prodigy, pouts.

* * *

Itachi feels an itch on the back of his neck and knows someone is watching him, _glaring_ at him.

Counting slowly to three in his head, he then turns around. His "_Haiiiiiiiiiiii?_" combined with his arched eyebrows exude an arragonce he doesn't actually know he possesses.

It pisses him off and Sasuke's glower increases tenfold.

Itachi deadpans and Sasuke glares, his lips lift slightly and he glares some more, he full-out _smirks_ and he is absolutely _livid._

One movement and Sasuke has moved back several steps, both hands clasping his forehead, _whining._

One hand is raised, index and thumb extended, and Itachi not-quite sings - but _taunts_ - "_Ba-ka_."

Sasuke's eyes are watering and Itachi smirks again.

She wonders if she should interrupt or not.

"Maa maa. _Boys_."

Both turn towards her immediately; Sasuke points and _accuses_, Itachi simply _smirks_ and Mikoto does not realize that she's not interrupting but rather_ simply fits into the picture_.

She can't quite stifle a laugh as she wonders _are they still acting?_

Unfortunately for them, the director sees this and decides to incorporate the forehead flick the brothers' signature move.

Mikoto can't help but think it will become, it _has become_, a move that will haunt the both of them throughout their lives.

Sasuke beckons her, she walks over - and he surprises her as _he_ flicks _her_ on the forehead.

She reels slightly and moans, "_Itaiiiiiiiiii..."_

Sasuke laughs, carefree, _innocent_ and _he skips away._

Mikoto tries not to think that it will become something that haunts her as well.

**

* * *

**

I _**HEART **_**Mikoto. Her name just seems to slide of the tongue, it's so pretty. Shame she didn't get enough screen-time though...:( **

- "If she closes her eyes she can remember blood spilt like milk, callous eyes and a raw scream" _- _**the adage "no use crying over spilt milk." Here I mean the fact that she's crying over someone not even blood-related to her, also a reference to an obvious "Uchiha Massacre" scene. **

"Mikoto thinks it is understandable, coming from where he does - but this is an important series, decades in the making, and the director is despairing."

"But this is real life and Sasuke has little innocence left, so his competitive streak s a fierce obsessive thing - a monster that is only perfect for the role _years_ after this."

**- A strictly planned and scheduled series, where the actors are chosen very carefully and from a young age. They play all the "beginning scenes" first, the parts where they're still young - then as they grow older, they act out the other scenes, the "previous" ones in the real series we watch today. Fussy AND complicated. Did any of that even make sense? -laughs- **

Fugaku is a young man, with sharp stress marks creasing his eyes from the weight of a whole clan on his shoulders" **- I didn't know what other word to use but clan. I meant one of those really old traditional families that kind of live in a sort family system. I really sympathise with this man, I don't think he's as cold and uncaring as most fans says -scratches head-**

"So she's stuck with a husband and two boys - she never was a family person but they absolutely insist - and it's like she's at square one again, back when her father snatched the doll out of her hands and said she couldn't play with it"**- possibly one of those antique collectors doll, they're meant to be for display purposes only.**

**Usually I'm against the use of Japanese n these all-english fanfics because I think it's a bit too fangirlish and a little lame - but I'm ok with minimal use, the smallest (one-worded) phrases like:**

**Itai** _"_Ow"_ or "It hurts"_

**Hai** "Yes"

**Baka** "Idot" or "Stupid"

**Maa Maa** something like "My my" or "Oh dear," if I remember correctly...


End file.
